Appreciate What You Have

She wakes up, she starts to clean and he comes with his insecurities.  The breakfast she prepared is only fuel for him to attack her emotions. In the middle of his degrading remarks he grabs the perfectly folded shirt that she continues to keep for him. Why does he feel this way?  Why must everything he say be the opposite of what she portray? Will he ever miss her one day? Who’s to say when you continue to provide for an empty soul.  Soon she will have to go if she wants to discover her again. If she wants to show him that what he woke up to was more then a incompetent woman. She warned him but now she must leave. That next morning. He yelled baby but no answer. Hungry he was but no food was provided. So he attempted.  Settle for the microwave because on the other days she was the hot meal. Looking for a shirt he continue to hurt because he couldn’t find a match to what she provided. Never lifting a broom to help clean he starts to remember the simple things she once did. His ego began to freeze and he began to get on his knees. Not to pray but to clean up the mess he created In this house everyday. Never notice how much work someone puts in until you have to put it in yourself. You get out what you put in.

Pleasure to Meet You

I once said that,” you don’t look for love, love finds you and when it feels that you’re ready, it will introduce itself.” Even when I felt like giving up on love, I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t give up on the one thing that ran through my veins. I finally got the chance to meet love. A slow walk to my present, and a handshake to follow, I knew right then we had created a forevership between us. A little nervous, only because I didn’t know that love could be this beautiful. Talking the night away, realizing that we had more In common that we both plan. I knew that night couldn’t last forever but how do you say goodbye to love. With the look of a mutual feeling, I soon realize that I don’t have to say goodbye. As we exchanged a secret connection between us, I knew that this moment would get another opportunity. Departing from each other, we immediately sent each other a note expressing the feelings we felt. A smile on my face as I rest my head, dreaming of the day I will meet love again. As the morning approached I awakened with a note from love. With a grin on my face I could tell that today was going to be good. It’s funny how my walk feels different after meeting love, it kind of feels as If I’m not walking alone any more. I have always tried to master my favorite dish and that’s the dish on my life. For some reason though, the taste never came out just right. I got a chance to meet someone who had something to do with creating this beautiful painting of love and I could see where the beauty was formed. Everything felt so right as I listened to the creator of love and watched as she passes on the knowledge of when she first met love. After that conversation I then found the missing ingredient to my dish, which was love. After sealing the deal with love and adding love to my life, the taste then couldn’t hit my lips any better. Every moment was fresh! There weren’t any rules with us. No wrong or right way to mix what we had. We were free to add in whatever we wanted at any giving time. Aware of all the traditional steps that normal individual would take; I skipped straight to the last ingredient. The strongest season of them all and I was ready to add it. Just a dab of love would complete this dish and I wasn’t going to let anything come between that. The way to a man’s heart is his stomach and I could honestly say I was full of love. Every note is so special, every moment is so sweet, every word feels like an “I DO”, I don’t know If love knows this yet but it is a PLEASURE TO MEET YOU!

Before the Money/After The Money

Hoping for love but the days are so cold,women steady turn their head when you dont have a dollar to fold.
Every now and then i roll the dice, i even ask twice but these women dont care they just say no.
So i just fall back with no real cash,i guess the real cheddar comes when i pass go
The women want real cheese but the imitation kind is all i can afford.
im at the night club and girls pass me up,well with no bling on, i guess i cant shine in the dark.
They look at my shoes and they start judging but none of them feel the pain when i walk.
im a true visionaire and these words i speak are going to get me to fame.
its kind of crazy though cause i want a chick to hold me down before i get the big name.
Oh yes, im at the bar and i see a girl,she ask me for the time.
So i look down and shit my watch is broke,she realize and said nevamind.
so i walk off, take a look back,seems like she was looking for her date.
im a good dude and as fine as she is, ill never make her wait.
I check my breath,im headed back and now i see why she waited so long.
A dude shows up all blinged out, well since he got money tell him to by you a phone.
she makes minimum wage but she dress nice.
I guess she looking to be one of those basketball wives.
she got gucci frames,new lense but her ass still cant see.
her english was good but no math sense because she would have known you invest in people like me.
thats ok, thats why i write everything down, so when i make it big ill treat them like the material they want to be.
after that night i had a lot to say, so i just posted my thoughts to see what it will bring.
man the next day,the phone ring with a dude asking are you a poet,rap or sing.
i told him im just a writer,taking my vision and making it clear for the blind to see.
he said how would you like a chance to help a music artist write somethings.
my heart just stop and i said wait a minute are you serious.
he was like a read some of your stuff and i admit you got me curious.
im like say no more, where you at, im gone come there.
im on 6th street,4th floor, just come up there stairs.
i started running and i arrive, opened up the door to a big surprise.
ryan leslie,keri hilson, and im starring them right in the eyes.
we sat there,listen to a couple of tracks and i showed them wat i got.
they went ahead and signed me with a lil advance money, and now my pockets have knots.
so ryan leslie dropped a beat and said write something to this,
with no pen, no paper, my words started to come out like a beautiful bliss.
everybody in the room was shocked about the way i put it down.
keri hilson said this is my new single and we have to record this now.
aw man i must say life is good, i always knew this would be me.
it came right on time, so tonight im hitting the club scene.
pull up to the club, took a walk in, more eyes then i ever seen.
girl asked who are you.
im the same dude, just new shoes.
pockets deep and full, wait a minute i think i remember you to.
she was like for real,i said yes mam, you da one who told me nevamind.
so where your date at,let me guess, he find him another dime.
she said that was just a fling and that night she had a lot going on.
i was like hold that thought, i think they playing my song.
she said keri hilson, thats my girl, you didnt tell me you like to listen to her.
i was like of course, i wrote the song, so how about you tell me what you think of the words.
left her at the bar looking shame as i walked the other way.
chorus was write on time, i hope shes listening to the song as it plays……..

CHORUS:
Real women like me-cant find a real man
Cause gold diggers like you-distract them any way you can
fake lips,fake hips, just a put together lie
material things mean nothing without love by your side
you want to ball,learn the game and learn how to get your own
good man come rare, you need to leave them alone
he think your fine now,enjoy the rich life
material girl,hell never make you his wife

Oh yea THE END

First Date

There she stood, beautiful as ever. Each curve defines her exquisite symmetry. I was in one of those moments where I didn’t think I had a chance of talking to her or miss out on a perfect opportunity. I took my first step and I prayed for the other foot to follow. I approached her with a simple hello beautiful. One look back from here she responded by saying, the name Is Ciana and do you approach every girl with that line? Oh my names Jacen and of course I don’t but for real you are truly beautiful. She said please give me your definition of beautiful. Well someone that looks good and natural, someone who has a good heart, someone who knows God. She said, well how could you honestly say im beautiful when you don’t really know two out of three things about me? Not trying to sound like I was using a line, I hurry up and told her why don’t we exchange numbers so I can complete my definition of beautiful and really get to know you. Out of nowhere she giggled and said ok but only cause you got me with that line. Now I was at ease and felt a little more confident. With my chest a little poked out I said, maybe we can get together one day for nice innocent date. Walking away she said, you just make sure you put the number to use and ill decide on that date. I took that and ran with it but couldn’t wait to tell my boy about what just happen. The whole way home I was on the phone going on and on about this fine girl I just seen and about how im going on a date with her soon. I tell my boy to meet me at my house so we can talk more about it. We get to the house and all I could tell him was, Damn! You should have seen her. My boy was like, how she sound, was her voice sexy? I was like sexy aint the word, matter fact im gone call her real quick and make up something so you can hear her voice. Quickly I dialed her number and waited as the phone rang. Hello she said. My boy in the background like oh damn she sound good. I was like I know I know. I hurried up and responded by telling her, I just want to see if you made it home safely. She was like thanks and yes I did. Well that’s really all I wanted to see I guess you can hit me back when you get settled. She was like wait a minute. I want to ask you a question. I paused for a minute because I wasn’t really prepared for a conversation at the time. I was like ask away. She said, what was really in your mind when you came up to me? I was like that you are beautiful. She was like come on, be real with me. I was like huh….. She said how about when you get that answer you give me a call back. We both hung up and I looked at my boy like what she wanted me to say? He was like I don’t know man but I don’t think you’re dealing with no ordinary chick. Yea I think your right. Maybe I should have chilled on that approach. I don’t think Im gone call her back. My boy was like, naw man see what she’s about, it might change you. Man cant no woman change me, my name is one deep Jacen. yea alright that’s what you say now but I bet you have to give in before you get that date. Naw playa won’t do so, you just watch. As we know a couple dayz went by and I finally called her with that answer. She answered the phone with a sweet hello. I was like oh nothing just calling with a follow up on our last conversation. She was like so what you came up with? I was like honestly I thought you look good. I mean really all I could go off of was your body and the way you carried yourself. I would be lying if I gave you a lot more with the fact that I didn’t know anything about you. She was in dead silence. I was like, did I say something wrong. She said there wasn’t really a wrong or right answer there , I just wanted to see if you were going to keep it real with me. I was like well…… she said you did ok. We both laugh and begin talking. Conversation came to the end and I told her that I really enjoyed the talk. She was like I must admit, you sure do know how to keep a girl laughing. I tell you what, lets talk a few more times and I will grant you that first date. I had to check my pants on this. I was like for real? She said yes, so who about you call me tomorrow and we will converse then? Will do Ms. Ciana. Well goodnight Mr. Jacen. I called my boy and starting bragging about the conversation I had with Ciana. He was like so….. do she sound different. I was like yea but I think I got her down to a science because guess what. What? Couple more talks and she said we going on our first date. He was like get out of here. Man I thought you were going to have to get on your knees to get a date with here. i had to tell him that, every girl has a breaking point. I guess I got to hers quick. My boy was like man just let me know how the first date goes. Man you’re so lucky! I hung up the phone with my boy and took it to bed. A couple days went by and Ciana and I was chatting it quite a bit. She surprise me on a Saturday night and told me right before we hung up with each other to be ready in the morning for when she come pick me up. I was like whats going on in the morning. She was like our date silly. In my head im wondering, what could we possibly do on a Sunday morning? She was like make sure you dress casual. Just to keep it clean I respond it with a yea. The night goes by and before you know it she was knocking on my door the next morning. Man I must say, she looked like beauty that couldn’t be touch. We hopped in the car and I asked, so where are we going? She said it’s a surprise. I told her I like surprise and she said, well you’re going to love this one. We arrive at this building that looked like a church but I wasn’t so sure yet. I asked, are we making a stop before we go to our destination? She was like no big head, this is the place. We walked in and there stood a preacher at the podium. The usher lady sat us down and Ciana was like listen up this preacher is really good. They played one more selection from the choir and on to the sermon he went. the title of the sermon was called, “A walk in a woman’s shoe!” the title really caught my eye so I listened up very closely. He preached about how we degrade our woman just because of the body/the temple that God has blessed them with. Undressing the women with our eyes before we can even get a chance to establish a friendship with her. Giving all the right confidence to approach a strong woman but all the wrong intentions after she gives you that first smile. Were so in a rush to take it to the next level when you haven’t even cleared the first floor yet. So in a hurry to build a house but your foundation is not strong enough. So quick to say I love you to serve your own needs but can’t even find that word in the bible. He spoke to all the men in the crowd and told them if you’re ready to see more good women walk around here, it starts with us. Going into the end of the sermon my eyes were a little shaky. The piano begun to play and the choir stood up. The preacher asked, if I have any men out there ready to see a change please join me at the front. Ciana looked at me and I couldn’t even move. I felt as If I didn’t know I was getting into . she leaned over and told me, its ok to be a little scared, its even ok to cry a little. She told me that she will be right here. I told her, but what if I make a mistake after going before God. She said we all make mistakes, the real question is , will you accept him into your heart and know that he will not let go of you know matter how much you might let go of him. I took a deep breath and my legs shook as I got up. I took that first step and once again prayed that the other foot would follow. A feeling I never felt came inside of me and there I was with a group of men that were ready for a change. After that little session I went back my seat and she took my hand. He concluded that service and we went to the car. With a grin on my face I ask, did you know he was going to talk about that. She smiled and said of course not. Lol! Well anyways I must admit I enjoyed it and I want to be honest with you. When I first met you I really had terrible things on my mind. I mean I didn’t know no better. Never really had someone show me something different. Ciana smiled and said I know you had certain things on your mind and I know this day would give me my real answer. I just seen something different in your eye when we met that told me that you are different in a way from most dudes. I was like well…. With further do I must admit and she was like and..what is that? Out of all the going out and meet and greetings Ive done had. This is by far the best FIRST DATE I’ve ever had!!! Oh yea, THE END!!

Be You

I got tired of knocking on the door for someone to let me in. Trying to be a part of the group that i thought was more elite then i. i never really got an answer. Not even a single, “who is it”. It’s funny while growing up you thought about how cool it was to be hanging with one of the popular kids in school just to get people to notice you. i guess i can say people notice me but not the people that were on the other side of the door i was knocking on. the people that notice me were the same people who shared the pain of being on the other side of the door hoping that one day someone will answer our knock and let us in. it was frustrating at times because you can just hear and see from under the door the amount of fun they were having. i don’t know what classified you to be one of the popular kids in school. Maybe you had to have nice clothes, nice shoes or be in one the gifted and talented classes where they felt that those kids were smarter than everyone else. I wasn’t no A student but i damn sho wasn’t no dummy. i can be honest and say i was distracted as a student, just really caught into the system as the way certain people were labeled. To add to that, the way they took a standardized test and use that to clarify if we were ready for the next level. That always rubbed me the wrong way. i guess that’s why i was on the other side of the door because the other kids were considered the smart and nice clothes group. Like a lot of people, i was so use to trying to fit in, i never really took the time to realize what i had to offer. i took some time to see that i was very artistic, a great poet, pretty nice athlete and very business savvy, in a street kind of way. i mean what’s the difference between corporate America and the streets? i immediately started to go to work on my side of the door and giving those knocks a rest. Man there I was drawing, writing, and discovering things about me that I didn’t even know. Some of the kids who were in the same group as me started to become interested and ask questions. In the process I did experience college like the kids on the other side but I must admit I didn’t start off at any big educated school. To be honest I didn’t even finish my degree. I never really let go of my passion though. I had a lot of things I wanted to do but I always had a passion of being a business man and being successful. As I built my credential, I slowly started to notice that the noise on the other side of the door was decreasing. I didn’t hold a degree or no fancy education but I eventually became my own boss and gave the world something new. While building my company one day, I heard a knock. I looked back and just stared. I thought I was tripping but it came again. Of course I didn’t answer but after a while I receive a note under the door asking me, hey what are you doing over there? I sat there with a big smile! I turned around to my side of the door and was amazed at what I have gotten accomplish. So I guess what I’m trying to say is. Stop wasting your time trying to fit in, because you might become a part of something that you don’t even like once you realize what they are about. Instead form your own group and eventually they are going to want to know what all the talk is about. Hell you might have to give some of those degree holders a job because about 65% of people who graduate don’t even work in that field. More out of that percentage can’t even find jobs after graduation. Not down talking, just saying that 4 year degree doesn’t necessary guarantee you a job.

Time To Get Real

I hated when people watch but nobody knows the time, they are just judging and waiting to see if im gone mess up next time.  The big hand leads and the little hand follows, Fake people tick me off when they need time to borrow.  Cause time is money and with real people im set, They bring the cash but the deal is quiet so i guess we can compare them to a rolex.  G-shocked by the shine on some of these girls faces, thought the diamonds were real but actually it was CZ’s that she was replaced with.   She told me awhile ago that she was dating Marc Jacob, Thought she was real this time-untill i found out he was a fake one!  Swap meat love-so many of us drawn to it,finally introduce to real things and some of us lose it.  They buy the knock off and wonder why something is always missing, looking stupid and some of them still guessing. Well go to guess then-the time is always fresh, no squares in there cause triangle time stay the best.  I took a look at her and she put her wrist up, she tried to show it off so i said this to her.  what watch is that-she said loui V, i said your L straight but the V looks like a  C? did i say Loui V-she meant Liz Claiborne, i ask did they make watches-she said i dont know her mama got it for her.  Now just tell the truth cause you know the deal, Come on people its TIME to get real!

Is it Love?

Is it Love when we say I do…?
Is it Love when the ring touches your skin?
Is it Love because I want to marry you?
Is it Love being at this alter and does it make me you a man?

Is it Love when the ring comes off? If so why does it have to be put back on? Is this really our song or is this where society saids we belong?
Is it Love when problems occur and the man uses religion to govern her? What about her free will, if she leaves is it adultery still?
Is it Love when you need permission, when Love is the only thing that’s missing? Can we make it through differences without political rules or do we really need laws to control what we do?
Is It Love when spoken? Is it Love when written or does it really go into effect when energy is put in it?

Is it Love because we hold this paper or can we really say Love is what you make of?
Is it Love because of our skin or does true Love starts within?
Is it Love…you tell me my friend because what I thought was Love is now being turned into a trend.

Mood Swings 'The Compilation of Poems'

Mood Swings ‘The Compilation of Poems’

Pressured Queen

She escapes to Love, because the relationship she is settled in was built by society. It is only in the arms of what society rejects where she feels true Love. How many of our lives have been shaped by the opinions of others. Undeveloped minds alter to think only one way. Selfies are just a physical front to gain LIKES but at night she looks at him and ask, ‘Is this love real’. I can only imagine the number of relationships/marriages built just to prove your own net worth. Because you know it hurts to be an attractive being yet single in this social bubble. The idea that many people need someone to validate their existence troubles me. Why cant a Queen roam free on a quest to become self? Why must she marry just because she is the ideal wifey type? Pressured to go find a husband as if we are living in stone ages. Can we now turn the pages and get rid of those dusty books that once governed our ways of thinking. Forever her heart is sinking because as long as the world says she beautiful; she has to live up to their standards. She doesn’t just want a ring, she wants a King; a man who knows that her presence is the one thing that gives him the power to be. Slowly she waits to be free..

Upward Mobility

I can only take what you give.  Anything beyond that would not be equally yoked.  What is not forced is better understood due to the will power of ones own nature. Should I ask to be loved or should the feelings from your energy turn me on to the point that I will have no choice but to shed light upon you?  As within so without and its clear to see that you are experiencing some doubts.  No need to shout this expression for your actions hold the confession.  Please tell me, better yet show me why I should stay…when everything that I say seems to be erased the very next day.  I know now that what I give is pass the limits that you have set for yourself.  A few times I have pulled over to look in the rear view mirror to await your presence. I then notice that the car you drove and the attention you have gathered was more important than the destination itself.  I’ll see you there.

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